The First Survey of People Named Hank
Because There Is No Opinion as Important as Hanks
The results are slowly coming in, and enough data has been gathered to suggest a few things. Thus far, the collective wisdom of Hank feels that solving the problem of finding lost car keys is the most important issue at hand.
Individual responses follow. I have hopes that with the rapidly advancing growth of webs being developed by Hanks, that this knowledge base will grow as a guide to right some of the wrongs in a society plagued by a lack of The Wisdom of Hank.
Hank M. Liu
Issues: Abolish Congress ... its the only way. Sorry folks there is no silver bullet no matter what those people at Harvard say.
As long as folks meet in Washington DC to broker their power they will spend as a result.
It doesn't matter what their political party, age, sex, sexual preference, hometown, personal agenda, or propensity to fool around with aides.
What can we do? Well, there is no better political system than ours. We simply need to hold our representatives personally accountable.
Or maybe elect a Hank our benevolent dictator for life. I kind of like that...but then I may be prejudiced.
Hank is another of those Hanks who just plain loves everything about being Hank
Hank would like to tackle lost car keys: I find that if you put them in the same place like i do everyday you have less of a chance of losing them, other people that aren't named Hank i find tend to lose their keys more often, i don't know if their names have anything to do with it but they probably do.
Editor's Note: I think that Hank is on to something with the name/key correlation. I hope other Hank's will revisit this theme.
Hank would like to solve the problem of balancing the U.S.Budget. His Suggestion: Obviously we need to elect more people named Hank!
He believes Finding Lost Car Keys is a pressing issue.
He would like to solve the problem of Famine.
His homepage may be reached at http://www.webfeats.com/diary/bio.html
This one's simple (which is why I chose it, of course): If people would just stop *losing* their car keys, then nobody would need to *find* them. Works for me.
His homepage may be reached at www.phoenix.net/~hank
Hank loves Everything about being Hank.
I am the best at finding lost car keys and I love that my name is Hank!You might try writing him the next time that you lose your keys!
Peter Moss writes:
Okay, my name isn't Hank, but I really, really wish it was.
Peter, in a Hankish moment, has solved the mystery of losing odd socks.
Issues: I'd like to solve the mystery that no matter how careful you are with your washing, you always end up losing odd socks. A team of Japanese research scientists, amazingly all named Hank, tagged lots of pairs of socks in some super modernly, high tech way,and washed them in a normal washing machine. After several washes, many of the socks were pairs no longer. Calling inter use those super high tech tags, the scientists tracked the straying socks to a remote,unexplored area in the South American rainforests. A research team sent there discovered this was the location of millions of missing socks. The local tribes, believing the errant foot wear to be gifts from God, used the socks as clothes, housing, food and, well, everything else really (they had a lot of socks!). This is all very interesting, I hear you saying, but it doesn't help me retain my precious stockings. Fortunately, the same Japanese research team discovered that not one of the tribes' socks had an umpleasant odour. The likelihood of this being chance was calculated at being 218479149123864 to 1, so it became obvious that particularly stinky socks had some special property that prevented them being drawn into the sub space worm hole or whatever that deposited more nose friendly socks in the rain forest. The solution to the problem of emigrating socks now becomes clear. Make sure that when your socks enter the washing machine they are as smelly as possible, and they will remain safely on your continent. Through extensive research I have discovered that wearing nylon socks for several months at a time, playing strenuous sports often and applying a nightly rub of French cheese to your feet adds up to a healthy, sock retaining odour with a strength that could knock out a skunk at 50 paces.
I hope this enlightenment will been of some help in keeping your favourite socks firmly paired for life.